Sunday, February 17, 2008

10 Years Later: 1998 NBA All-Star Game

ESPN Classic today had an NBA All-Star marathon on. I just happened to flip through during the 1998 game, only to see Jayson Williams owning the boards as if they were a rented limo driver. He'd then kick it out to Timmy Hardaway who'd gracefully sweep down the floor like a pretty little ballerina.

The degenerate names that were mentioned on the East/West squads would make the Mean Machine look wholesome and comprised of law-abiding citizens. Sure, Duncan, Garnett & the Admiral skew things a bit towards positivity, but even they couldn't polish the turd that was the 1998 NBA All-Star game (thanks to its respective rosters).

Let's take a look at some of the outstanding life and career accomplishments of '98's finest. We have adulterers, wife-beaters, alcoholics and accused rapists, just to name a few. What better place to feature such degenerates than New York City!

CLE Shawn Kemp - Fornicator & Father of 13.
DET Grant Hill - Stars in a Nickelback video.
ATL Dikembe Mutombo - Gold Club patron.
CHI Michael Jordan - Degenerate gambler, adulterer, divorcee.
ORL Anfernee Hardaway - "Li'l Penny" lives in his pants.
MIA Tim Hardaway - Homophobe.
NJN Jayson Williams - Killer.
IND Rik Smits - Freaky, deaky Dutch.
IND Reggie Miller - Titty Lover.
CHA Glen Rice - Beats up men who hide in his wife's closet.
ATL Steve Smith - All World wide receiver.
BOS Antoine Walker - Ballooned to 3 bills.


UTA Karl Malone - Hits on teammates' wives.
MIN Kevin Garnett - Didn't even attend college; has his own initials tattooed (in case he forgets).
LAL Shaquille O'Neal - Union scab (2000).
LAL Kobe Bryant - Accused Rapist.
SEA Gary Payton - Poor Sportsman.
SEA Vin Baker - Alcoholic Over-eater.
LAL Eddie Jones - Career Second/Third Fiddle.
SAS David Robinson - Haier Shooting Star champion.
SAC Mitch Richmond - NBA Live legacy will outlive NBA legacy.
PHX Jason Kidd - Wife Beater.
SAS Tim Duncan - Tarnishes a well-respected referee with condescending smirk.
LAL Nick Van Exel - Ugly.

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