Ready-Made Excuses

Across Chicago, Cub fans are erecting memorials for their recently departed team. On the other side of town, Ozzie Guillen couldn't care less.


With 100 years of experience, Cub fans don't need our help in coming up with excuses for their typical October.

But why not? Billy the Goat & Bartman are getting old.

• Negative Roster: Carlos ZambraNO, Ronny CedeNO, Mike FonteNOT, Alfonso SoriaNO
• Mark Cuban
• Jobless Bleacher Bums
  
• Ernie Banks and poser Eddie Vedder
• Preston and Steve
• Ted Lily & Dominick DiAngi
• SI

By "It's Gonna Happen" SI editors, of course, meant "the inevitable."