Thursday, October 1, 2009

The Cynic’s Guide to College Football, Week Four

Another relatively slow week in college football world, as the fat get fatter on a steady diet of creampuffs. Aside from Tebow’s concussion, there really wasn’t much newsworthy about last week. About all we learned is that either Virginia Tech is pretty good or that Miami was overhyped. And that Cal is, once again, not ready for primetime. But now, with October upon us, things start to get interesting. So, with one eye on the upcoming weeks, here’s my quick review of Week 4 in college football.

Mmmm. Chick-Fil-A Bowl.

Jevan Snead, Humanitarian

If you tuned in ESPN last Thursday, you got to see Ole Miss’ Jevan Snead really stinking it up. 7-21, 107 yards, 1 TD. A whole bunch of really ugly-looking passes. But it’s not all bad news for the Rebels. In the postgame interview Jevan Snead said he was “relieved” that Ole Miss was no longer a top-five team and could get back to “just playing football.” I bet his teammates and coaches are sure glad that Jevan finally decide to unveil his elaborate plan to let them play football. I mean I’m sure that potential SEC and *gasp* national title talk was just oh-so-strenuous and was really taking all the fun out of playing. Yep, I’m sure they’ll all be so glad to be free of that top-5 ranking and the headaches that come with going to the BCS. Boy, that Jevan Snead sure is a giver. Way to take one for the team.

This Week in Clock Management Failure

Notre Dame down 21-17 to Purdue. Second and goal with less than a minute left. No time outs. The Irish call for a run, which gets stuffed at the 2. 36 seconds left, the clock running and a disorganized Notre Dame team trying to line up and spike the ball, setting up a fourth down for the game. If you’re a Purdue player, you’re probably thinking, “OK, they have one more play. Let’s stuff them here and then take half the co-eds on campus back home with us to celebrate.” But if you’re Purdue head coach Danny Hope, apparently you’re thinking . . . well, I’m not sure what you would be thinking, because he decided to bail Notre Dame out by calling timeout, letting the Irish set up two plays instead of one. And sure enough, on the second play, which never would have occurred without the timeout, Irish quarterback Jimmy Clausen hit TE Kyle Rudolph for the game-winning touchdown.

Political strategist James Carville used to say, “If your opponent is drowning, throw the son of a bitch an anvil.” Apparently, Coach Hope wasn’t a political science major.

Don’t know about his politics, but he’d make a hell of an offensive coordinator.

Quack is the New Black?

In this modern age, it seems that no one—not even The Cynic—is immune from making snap judgments that may or may not have any basis in reality. After their week one loss on the blue turf, I declared Chip Kelly’s first game the worst. coaching. debut. ever. But after watching the Ducks POUND THE LIVING BEJEEZUS out of Cal, it appears I may have been a little bit hasty. The Ducks are playing like I expected the Ducks to be playing, and the future looks bright. In their last three games, the Ducks have put up an average of 37 points a game. Now, they get to play three unranked teams (Washington, UCLA and Washington State) before a Halloween matchup with USC that may well decide the Pac-10 title.

I can certainly admit when I’m wrong—I just don’t know which time. Was I wrong when I was ready to write Oregon off after the Boise State debacle? Or was I wrong in the preseason when I picked them to win the Pac-10? Ask me in another month or so.

Win or lose, we still love the Ducks.

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