Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Cynic’s Guide to College Football: Week 10

In the time it takes you to read this, Les Miles will make another insane decision that will inexplicably work, Oregon will score some more, some new allegations against Cam Newton will come out and Michigan’s defense will give up another touchdown.

OK, now that those are out of the way, let’s move on to this week in bad football.

Texas: It’s Like a Whole Other Planet
In the last month, the Texas Rangers made it to the World Series, Baylor cracked the Top 25, George W. Bush wrote (not read, WROTE) a book and the Longhorns were beaten soundly by the likes of Iowa State, Baylor and Kansas State.

Now entering Bizarro World.

Who Needs StubHub When You’re Heavily Armed?
Seeing extra security or even military personnel at big college football games isn’t really a surprise. So I guess that’s why a guy in fatigues and a machine gun was recently spotted on the sidelines of the Big House during the Michigan-Michigan State game. That is, until, the members of the color guard alerted UM officials that the guy was an impostor. Come to find out, the dude was a member of the Michigan National Guard. But he only used his uniform and two (unloaded) M-16 automatic rifles as his backstage pass when he couldn’t get a ticket. He was ultimately escorted out of the stadium by police.

Now THIS is how a real military man gets into a Michigan game.

Firepower
Speaking of football and the military, Navy’s football team outscored it’s basketball team 76-52 this week.

For the Navy, the best defense is a good offense.

Why the BCS Stinks: Reason #326
While we can all debate whether or not TCU and Boise State deserve a title shot, you’d have to be a pretty big anti-AQ conference homer not to admit that they’re two of the best 10 teams in the country. Yet odds are that, at most, one will end up in the BCS. Meanwhile, we’re 10 weeks into the season . . . and no one from the Big East is even eligible for the conference’s automatic BCS spot.

Halloween, Sooner Style
Speaking of costumes, an Oklahoma man was recently arrested for trying to shoplift what was described as a “sexy referee” costume by shoving it down his pants. This of course raises the age-old question, “How do you make a referee sexy?”

“Hey, baby. Got your tickets to the GUN SHOW?”

Brian Kelly’s New Distinction
Say what you want about Charlie Weis, Tyrone Willingham or Bob Davie—at least they never killed anyone.

Making it Too Easy
In the “only coming two years too late” category, Colorado athletic director Mike Bohn announced on Tuesday the firing of Buffs head coach Dan Hawkins. That decision got a whole lot easier on Saturday when the Buffs gave up 35 unanswered points in less than 12 minutes in a 52-47 loss to Kansas. The comeback marked KU’s first Big 12 win this year and Colorado’s biggest collapse in program history. Hawkins then proceeded to walk out on an interview with CU’s flagship radio station after the reporter had the audacity to ask why the Buffs were trying to throw the ball all over the field instead of milking the clock. Admittedly, it wasn’t a tough decision to start with, what with Hawkins’ career 19-39 record at CU. But Hawkins is lucky Bohn even let him make the trip back home to Colorado.

Buffs QB Cody Hawkins now gets to enjoy the world’s most awkward Senior Day.

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1 comment:

Carl said...

The picture are just too good and also about the Texas rangers is good to know, good post this is.

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