Giambi on A-Rod, the Yankee Years and the Rocket's Red Balls

Photo: GQ

After an weekend that featured an embarrassing 22-4 loss at the hands of the Cleveland Indians and saw one-time $40 million disappointing pinstriper Carl Pavano pitch 6 innings of 4 hit, 1-run ball before his bullpen gave up a controversial instant replayed homerun to Jorge Posada, another former one-time, high-priced Yank returns to the Bronx tonight.

While few, save Kevin Brown, can match the disappointment that Pavano brought to the Yankees, the December 2001 7-year, $120 million NY signing of Jason Giambi marked the end of the Yankee dynasty lead by workmanlike players such as Paul O'Neil, Bernie Williams and Scott Brosius in favor of exorbitant free agent additions which altered clubhouse chemistry and failed to produce championships while bloating the team's payroll.

That's not to say Giambi failed to produce as a Bomber, as much as to say his career there will be more notably recognized for wearing a slump-busting gold thong and his non-admittance admittance to using performing enhancing drugs, as opposed to furthering the Yankee tradition of excellence.

In a retrospective piece, Oakland's prodigal son spoke with GQ's Nate Penn, author of a 2005 profile on Giambi's steroid revelations, The Cleanup Man, just before the start of this season to talk about, among other things, Torre's book, his Yankee years (including his PED acknowledgment), his return to the A's, A-Rod, and, of course, Roger Clemens' pre-game lubing rituals:

Verducci and Torre also report that a trainer used to apply hot liniment to Roger Clemens’s testicles. Did you ever witness that?
I’ve seen some of it drip onto his balls. He lubes. I’ve never seen a guy wear more hot shit on the planet. The guy’s basically in a jock and a pair of socks and like head to toe in hot shit. That’s no bullshit.

Have you tried it yourself?
No, I would fucking cry. The stuff that he used to put on his body—even his hot tanks were like molten lava. He would get in the hot tank before the games, and it was like a cauldron. One time I put my foot in there, my skin almost fell off my foot, it was so hot.

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Have You Gotten Your BlogsWithBalls Tickets Yet?

The Yankee Years: Paulie's Psyche and the Rocket's Firey Balls

Usually I don't start writing about books until I've finished reading them. Lucky for me, though, in light of the A-Rod circus, I am in the middle of Joe Torre and Tom Verducci's The Yankee Years.

While not a Yankee fan, the book is a must for any baseball fan. While it's touted as a Torre tell-all, Torre more steers the direction of the book, and thus far you see as much David Cone and Brian McNamee insight as you do the Yankee's former skipper's.

I've just read about the crumbling of the Yankee dynasty, as the squad that won 3 strait titles saw aging stalwarts like Paul O'Neil, Tino Martinez, Chuck Knoblauch and Cone pass and the team bring in the Giambis, Mondesis, and the like.

A-Rod's barely been mentioned at this point.

While this is the controversy that is selling the book, there are two items that had me laughing out loud and are alone worth the price of admission.

The first is anything related to O'Neill's "need to win."

Said [trainer Steve] Donahue "When we lost a game, I don't care if it was April or May, he'd come in the clubhouse and from halfway accross the room he'd be firing bats into his locker. We'd be back in the trainer's room, hear noise and know right away, 'Oh shit. We lost.' He'd be so pissed. No pitcher was ever any good, either. When the guy they made the movie about, the science teacher for Tampa Bay, Jim Morris, got him out, O'Neill went crazy. 'Who are they going to bring in next to get me out? A gym teacher? A plumber?'

He'd always say, 'That's it. I'm done. I can't hit.' And [bench coach Don] Zim[mer] would sit there and go, 'Hey, I got a buddy in Cincinnati who can get you a brick layer's job.'"

"I suck."

Cone also had a way of getting under O'Neill's craw, and taking pot shots at the Boss as well:

"I would do stuff just to get him [Steinbrenner] going," Cone said, "to make him feel a part of it. I liked having him around for that reason, because most people were too intimidated to say anything. I would always say, 'What was it like to coach Lenny Dawson? Tell O'Neill. C'mon. Tell him! Give him that pep talk like you gave Lenny!' I'd get him going. And O'Neill would hate it."

And he never let up...

"Cone was at it again with Steinbrenner just before the start of the 2000 World Series. O'Neill, famously intense and serious about his preparation, was walking by Cone in the redecorated clubhouse when the pitcher called out to Steinbrenner, "Time for a pep talk, George! O'Neill needs something. He doesn't look like he's ready to play to me." O'Neill shot a cold stare at Cone. Said Cone, "He's looking at me and he's tight as a drum. Be's bitter. He's pissed at me for trying to stir things up." Cone, of course, kept up the banter. "C'mon, George," he said, "Tell him! C'mon. We need O'Neill today, George. He doesn't look ready to me. Does he look ready to you?" ..."You," he [O'Neill] barked at Cone, "get the fuck out of the clubhouse! Right now!"

Then, there's everyone's favorite whipping boy, Roger Clemens, who frailty equaled his intensity. There was one revelation that floored me, however: the Rocket's pregame ritual...

There was so much to think about before throwing a picth. Clemens lost himself in his usual pregame preparation, which typically began with cranking the whirlpool to its hottest possible temperature. "He'd come out looking like a lobster," trainer Steve Donahue said. Donahue than [sic] would rub hot linement all over Clemens' body, "from his ankles to his wrists," Donahue said. Then Donahue would rub the hottest possible liniment on his testicles. "He'd start snorting like a bull," the trainer said. "That's when he was ready to pitch."

"How's the yam sack, Rog?"

Money quote.

I can put the book down now and feel satisfied.

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Cadillac Mescalade: A Tale of Two Joes

AP Photo

I have no love for the New York Yankees. Being a fan of the New York Mets, it really has to be that way. That said, I do have respect for individuals on the team - such as a Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams back in his day.

Another person I respected was Joe Torre.

Say what you want about his departure from the team last year, but the Yankees messed up on this point. Normally I wouldn't want them to keep someone around who would perhaps allow them to trump the Mets for the back page of the New York City tabloids, but the fact of the matter is that their new manager did not get the job done.

The Daily News' Bob Raisman, often one to fire a barb, writes how finally even the Yankees' own network is starting to come down on the team and their lackluster play. However, he mentions that they don't quite get to the point of talking about if and how Torre could have overseen a similar mess, had he been allowed to stay.

So allow me...

Things are going fine for Joe Torre: He took the Dodgers job; they are in the hunt for the playoffs; and, in all likelihood, he did need a breather from the Big Apple as well as from Yankees management.

What bothers me, though, is that when Torre was sent on his way and Girardi was brought in, there was supposed to be a change. The list went on and on in spring training about what the new Joe would add to the team. He did a hell of a job with the Marlins and that same success was supposed to be transplanted to the Bronx.

It hasn't.

I give him the benefit of the doubt on a litany of pitcher injuries and other problems that are unfortunate (but part of the game), but what I don't like is that it was ever inferred that this guy could do it better than Torre with pretty much the same group of talent. I promise you, Joe Torre could have overseen this exact same mess from a Yankees standpoint, but he perhaps also could have gotten them a few more wins and possibly put them in the playoff mix.

What some have failed to realize (and it took me a little while myself) is that when you talk about the head coaches and managers like a Phil Jackson or a Joe Torre, sometimes the best part of what they do isn't the diagram of the backdoor cut or delivering the sign for the hit-and-run, but how they manage a bunch of professional athletes that play together.

I'm not the first person to single out these two for their abilities to do exactly that, but somewhere along the line the Yankees forgot that. They forgot they have Alex Rodriguez and all the baggage that comes with him, Jason Giambi and his history, and all the rest of the characters on the team that wears the Interlocking 'NY.'

So what started as a season that was to be a swan song for Yankee Stadium, has now turned into a tragedy. In about 10 games, the doors will close on the house that Ruth built and there will be no playoff games to give the place a proper sendoff. The Bronx Bombers had every right to change a manager, in all honesty they expect to win World Series year-in and year-out, but now they aren't even advancing to the playoffs. But when you feel like your car is broken down and can't do it anymore and you need to trade it, just don't ever act like there wasn't a long time where it always got you where you wanted to go. Like my boss once told me after some seven years on the job, "you know what, it's not even what you do anymore that matters, it's more what you know."

One Joe seems to have known a lot more than another Joe, and sadly for fans of the pinstripes now they know.

Joe Torre, Gingaloon

"How am I meant to know you're kidding? What you mean, you're kidding? You breaking my fuckin' balls? "

NJ.com is a goldmine for fanboy photos of Garden Staters.

Take for instance these ginkers are obviously jacked up for draft day...