Monday, March 3, 2008

Superfans & Fanboys

"I'm gonna make Gretzky's head bleed for Super Fan 99 over here."

"F*ck you, Fanboy."

Two of the most classic scenes in cinematic history have inspired us to look at real-life Superfans and Fanboys we want to tell to shut the eff up and make their heads bleed.

It's bad enough they are rich, obnoxious, multimillionaire celebrities, they choose to piss us off by acting like rich, obnoxious, multimillionaire sports fans.

Let's look at some of the more prominent ones.

Known as a bi-coastal fan supporting the Lakers and the Yankees, this crazy wild-eyed sonofabitch has no qualms going berserk on players, officials and fans alike. Very becoming of a septuagenarian.

The poster boy for all that is boy good and bad with superfandom. Lee essentially defined the celebrity sports fan for his obnoxious court-side taunting and temper tantrums. Yes, you appreciate that he is a true fan, but if he were not a celeb he'd have been locked up by now.

Dancing with the Stars star Drew's brother, and Mrs. Tony Romo's ex, Nick Lachey established himself as Matt Leinert's quintessential male celebrity groupie in Southern Cali.

Insipred this list when Fat Willard said "She is worse than Spike Lee." That's a stretch. I would neither tell her to eff off nor make her head bleed.

The few rare times you see McConaughey with a shirt on, it's usually burnt orange. You know what they say about Texas. Steers & queers. Steers & queers.

Yeah, this is an obligatory and self-explanatory inclusion.

Did you know Affleck was from Boston? Did you know he liked the Sox? Don't hear that very often do you?

No, he's not really a Yankees fan. He's an American League fan. Yeah.

For years the Coz has implored me to take the "Temple Challenge." For years I've ignored him. Click here for a great, classic (un-embeddable) video of the Coz in 1988 chatting up CBS before the Temple/Duke match up.

Belushi lives off his late brother's coattails and vicariously through Chicago athletes.

On the South Side of Chicago, the baddest part of town, Barnie Mac roots for the White Sox. We only know this because of their World Series Championship in 2005. Haven't heard much from Buster since.

Truth be told, a lot of celebs love (or loved) the Sox.

Tony's girl Samanta roots for the Dodgers, or whatever ballplayer she happens to be dating at the time.

Seriously. He loooves the Skins. Really.


Who'd we miss?


stevek09 said...

Jerry Seinfeld at Mets games; Usher & Jay-Z as celebuowners of NBA teams

Hugging Harold Reynolds said...

Good call. Might have to throw Billy Crystal on there too.

Dom said...

Cusack and Murray at Cubs games

The Sports Hernia said...

Billy Corgan is also a raging Cubs fan. Seems out of place at first, but his trademark melodramatic, depressing tone is a perfect fit.

millhouse said...

Pearl Jam was originally called Mookie Blaylock because of the band's love of hoops. Stone Gossard and Jeff Ament are Supersonics fans and Eddie Vedder as a Chicago native is a big Bulls fan....

millhouse said...

sorry, Illinois native....

Gerald R Ford said...

It's not so bad in the case of Billy Crystal. He made what is probably the greatest sports movie of all time in 61*.

I always see douchebag celebrities at Los Angeles Kings games. Hayden Penniatere, while being the hottest woman alive, often makes a complete ass of herself at games from what I've seen and heard.