Which sports personality is most likely to have a sex tape?

A debate well worth having. So HHR got involved. So did a bunch of other sports blogs.

Check out the discussion over at Busted Coverage.

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Have Yourself a Very ESPY Christmas

As you count the days until holiday vacation begins and you brace yourselves for the seemingly nationwide winter storm, grab a cup of cocoa and enjoy this piece on Christmas/holiday traditions vs. their ESPN counterparts.

Santa Claus/The Worldwide Leader
Everybody wants to stay on ESPN/Santa's good side, but it's really because they're the only game in town. Sometimes you get the good stuff (SportsCenter commercials, 24/7 sports highlights, Page 2) , sometimes you get coal ("Who's Now?", 32 straight weeks of the World Series of Poker, anything with Stephen A. Smith). Be good, or you just might find a copy of Tilt on DVD under your tree.

Fruitcake/Skip Bayless
The worst thing about Christmas/ESPN. I have yet to find anyone who actually likes either one. Yet for some reason they always seem to stay on the payroll, rearing their self-absorbed heads whenever the holiday season or a new ESPN talk segment makes an appearance.

Christmas Tree Stand/Chris Berman
Holding the whole thing up since the beginning, every now and again you toy with getting a new one because the old one is still wearing ties from that first Christmas. Also Youtube has shown us every now and again the old stand has its bad days and nearly tips the tree over. But in the end you just can't part with it because it still gets the job done especially on NFL Sundays.

Christmas Lights/Erin Andrews
Sure, they can both be overdone a la Clark Griswold. But they can both make the dumpiest house or worst Thursday night MAC game seem a little bit brighter and more festive.

Mistletoe/Suzy Kolber
Self-explanatory



Kwanzaa/Stuart Scott
Unlike most Christmas traditions, which are centuries old, both Kwanzaa and Stuart Scott were created in the mid-1960s. And not even real black people understand what's going on here anymore



Egg Nog/Mike and Mike in the Morning
Their faux-trash talking is endearing in a sickly sweet kind of way, but gets old fast. In the same way, that first glass of egg nog is pure liquid joy, but drink too much and you'll feel like you just swallowed a bowling ball.

Crazy Uncle/Lee Corso
Every family has that one black sheep uncle. You know, the one who invariably shows up wearing a different “funny” hat every year (reindeer antlers, mistletoe, elf, etc.). He’s funny for about five minutes, but after that you just inch closer and closer to wanting to strangle him with some garland.

Black Friday/College Gameday
Just as the day after Thanksgiving signals the kickoff of the Christmas shopping season, every fall Saturday doesn't really start until you crack open your first breakfast beer and flip on (or off, depending on if he picks your team) Crazy Uncle Lee.

Stockings/Kenny Mayne
Not the biggest prize, but always solid. You never know exactly what you're going to get, but odds are it'll be something good.

The Grinch/Dick Vitale
Vitale can't stand the fact that college bowl games get more press around this time of year than hoops. Secretly longs to find a way to eliminate Christmas and skip directly to ACC conference play.


The Overcooked Christmas Ham/ESPN News
Technically you’re eating and that is, I guess, a good thing. But nobody is enjoying themselves. This is broadcasting school televised live to the entire world and, much like the ham, we must grin and bear it.

Christmas Tree Tinsel/Rachel Nichols
Somehow manages to cover the biggest story in your area (the tree or the Plaxico Burress shooting). At the time putting her out there seemed like a good idea, but thirty seconds in to her stand up, you realize that you would have been better served with a classic jingle ball (Sal Paolantonio- e-s-p-n).

Elf/Merrill Hoge
Both are small.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer/Dana Jacobson (at least when she's drinking)
May be responsible for running over your grandma who is walking home from your house Christmas Eve.


That "Christmas Sweater"/Scott Van Pelt
You always look forward to it and remember it being better, cooler, and more fun than it actually is. Like Van Pelt with the Masters, every year you try it on again, and you laugh a little. But eventually digging it out every year just because of its irony value begins to feel a little forced.

The winner of the 2008 Home Run Derby is....

Ryan Braun.

How do I know? Because of my impatience. I hate waiting for anything. I got tired of ESPN and First Take reminding me 13,000 times this morning that the derby is tonight, in between segments of 1st and Ten with Skip Bayless debating rapper Nelly (I wish that was a joke). Jacobsen telling me to vote for who I think was going to win was pissing me off to no end. I wish ESPN would put up a meaningful poll like 'which ESPN personality will be the next to have a blog named after them.' (Smart money is on Van Pelt Hunter)

Does anyone under the age of 8 give a crap about the outcome of the home run derby? The only people interested are fans of the eight players involved only because they hope it doesn't ruin their swing for the rest of the season. I don't give a crap to vote or even watch so I decided to take matters into my own chubby hands and do an experiment that has just about as much chance of predicting a winner as any ESPN poll.

I played out the derby on MLB 2008. Braun wins over Berkman by launching 12 homeruns in the final round. Here are some other predictions I am making based on my simulation, ESPN's predictability and derbys from years past.

- Corey Hart's daughter and the kid drinking at the Cubs game are going to get TANKED and make some really bad decisions. He will never call her after tonight.
- The derby will last much longer then my 20 minute contest. One of Berman's stories and homerun calls will last even longer.
- Joe Morgan will remind us he once won the homerun derby and invented the periodical chart of the elements
- John Sterling and Suze Waldman will STILL get the homerun calls wrong.
- Someone will swing and miss because the cat jumped from the top of the couch onto his nuts
- Someone in the crowd will say the F word.
- Kenny Mayne will do something silly. That rapscallion.
- Someone in the crowd will say the F' word in Italian.
- 329- Number of MSM articles on Weds that will talk about how terrible Yankee Staduim is to visit.
- 52,000- Average attendence for a Yankee home game and the avergae number of people who already fucking knew that.
- 98- number of bloggers in attendence.
- 98- number of bloggers in attendence who are wasted and reak of beer and weed. (Hide Corey Hart's daughter)
- Josh Hamilton will celebrate a long homerun by pretending to sniff the first base line.

See, you aren't going to miss much. Go out and get hammered and make it home in time for the celebrity softball game.

You're With Him, Reverend

Did Jesse Jackson not learn ANYTHING from Chris Berman?

So that's why I hate Zach Braff

He went to Bristol U....



Who are we kidding, Berman isn't sitting at that desk for long. He is either taking a Cowboys cheerleader home or buying an access key to the girl's dorm from a frosh.

Sharp as a Whistle

Great find over at the Fanhouse of a YouTubes mashup of Boomer and Emmitt.