Ol' Blue doesn't live in Connecticut, but if he did he may have a hard time casting his vote for Raw's next General Manager on Election Day. You see, thanks to union thugs and the party machines up in Connecticut, Blue can't wear his causal WWE attire to the voting booth for fear that it would be seen as campaign activity in favor of Mr. McMahon's wife, Linda, who is running for US Senate.
This is clearly some kind of Nexus plot to continue their rampage over the WWE, but unlike John Cena, you can't tell Blue what to do without getting a little bit of disrespect thrown back at you.
In protest of this bigoted policy, Blue plans to get all liquored up Stone Cold-style and go on voting rampage in precincts throughout the nation on Election Day. How can you spot Blue? Well he'll be in one of his favorite t-shirts of course:
Yesterday, Linda McMahon, the former CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment, won the Republican nomination to be the next U.S. Senator from Connecticut. She’s already spent approximately $22 million of her own money, and has pledged to spend as much as $50 million to win the seat.
There’s an old saying from my political science class days that every senator thinks he should be president. If that’s the case, then we could be in line for one of the most entertaining administrations in some time in the not-too-distant future. So we here at HHR thought we would do our bit of public service and help future President McMahon start piecing together her cabinet with those she already knows.
Vice-President: Ultimate Warrior Politically, vice-presidential candidates are often chosen to “balance the ticket,” or bring something to the table that the top candidate doesn’t have. Since retiring from wrestling, Warrior has become a conservative (to put it mildly) commentator who could help pull in the GOP’s conservative base and Tea Party types. Plus, McMahon would be seen as a model of dignity and moderation by comparison.
Secretary of State: Hacksaw Jim Duggan Teddy Roosevelt once described his foreign policy as, “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” Nobody would carry a bigger stick for American interests overseas than Hacksaw. Secretary of Defense: Sergeant Slaughter He's the pick for his obvious experience. Plus, with his Iraq/US flip-flopping during the first Gulf war, he’s already mastered the political art of waffling.
Secretary of the Treasury: Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake Because someone has to be willing to finally make some tough cuts and balance the budget. Attorney General: Randy “The Macho Man” Savage Supreme Court Clerk: “Oyez, oyez, oyez, the court is now in order.” Chief Justice: “Is the government prepared to present its case?” Attorney General Savage: “Oooooooh yeeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!” Secretary of the Interior: Kane The Interior post is a throwaway job. Almost without fail, a new president will appoint a small-state governor from the opposite party so he can claim to be bipartisan without giving the other party any real power. With Kane’s long-running feud with the McMahon family, this would be a perfect way to claim bipartisanship while keeping the Big Red Machine under wraps.
Secretary of Agriculture: Hillbilly Jim Traditionally, the Agriculture spot always goes to a governor or congressman from a key agricultural state. While I don’t know Jim’s position on federal ethanol subsidies, he’s about as country as the WWE ever got.
Secretary of Commerce: Ted DiBiase Because Lord knows we could use some extra money in the economy.
Secretary of Labor: Mick Foley Able to pull off several different characters (Mankind, Cactus Jack, Dude Love, etc.), Foley was the hardest working man in the business. Plus, he’d be perfect to be in charge of OSHA—after the Hell in a Cell match, Foley knows a thing or two about workplace safety hazards.
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Nikolai Volkoff Because, if you believe some of my Republican friends, America’s health system will be modeled after the old Soviet Union once Obama is through with it.
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: The Brooklyn Brawler You need someone in this job who has experience with decaying inner city areas. In other words, Brooklyn.
Secretary of Transportation: The Godfather He can bring the organizational efficiency demonstrated by the “Ho Train” to our nation’s public transportation infrastructure.
Secretary of Energy: Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka With his wild hair, glaring eyes and high-flying antics, few wrestlers have brought more energy and excitement to the ring. Now if he can just do something about that whole dependence on foreign oil thing.
Secretary of Education: George “The Animal” Steele I had a history teacher in high school who used to have Vietnam flashbacks in the middle of class. We all feared for our lives. But he had the highest pass rate in school history as a result—we were all afraid to find out what would happen if we failed. Putting a psycho like Steele in charge of our nation’s education could be just the kind of tough love wake-up call our students need.
Secretary of Veterans Affairs: Jesse “The Body” Ventura As a former Navy SEAL and governor, he’s the perfect mix of policy knowledge and political acumen for this spot.
Secretary of Homeland Security: The Big Bossman You want border security? I’ve got your border security right here! So there are our suggestions. No thanks necessary. Only doing our civic duty. Just let us know when we can expect our bailout check in the mail.
Not sure if she's trying to win over right-leaning primary voters or piss them off, but according to Politico, "At a Q & A in Waterbury, Conn...a questioner at a campaign event told McMahon: "You have shown yourself to be less virtuous...when you do condone your husband onstage cavorting, in a sexually explicit manner, with other women."
McMahon, in turn, pointed out that Ronald Reagan's acting gigs didn't determine how he would govern.
"If he had played a standup comedic person who did slapstick, do you think that's how he'd operate in the presidency?" McMahon asked.
Just Because One Employs Porn Stars Doesn't Make One a Pornographer.
Bill & Hill?
We mentioned in August that now-former WWE CEO Linda McMahon had tossed her hat into US politics. In September we posted her first ad. Since that time, she has positioned herself among front-runners for the Republican nomination in Connecticut to run against embattled incumbent Chris Dodd.
As her campaign has taken shape, critics argue the WWE has scrubbed its image to inoculate her from criticism over its traditionally racy content (while McMahon herself rarely even mentions her company by name on the trial).
Superstar Billy Graham is speaking out against the woman he says made millions from the violence, sexual exploitation, blood and excesses of professional wrestling. What outrages him particularly, he says, are recent attempts to sanitize the wrestling mega-enterprise whose sexy women wrestlers once performed in "lingerie matches" and were still posing nude in Playboy as recently as 2008. He views this toning down as a huge act of hypocrisy — an attempt to graft a family-friendly face onto a business that has been anything but.
What's head-scratching, then, is the Fed's decision last week to bring the 2008 Playboy Magazine Model of the Year, Jillian Beyor (who wrestling sites are claiming - read: gossiping - "appeared in a few adult themed fetish video shoots back in 2007 under the name Brianna"), as one of their renowned Divas.
"El Placer Di Viver" must be Spanish for "Family Edition."
Beyor shares esteemed company with Sable, Chyna, Torrie Wilson, Christy Hemme, Ashley Massaro, Maria Kanellis, and Candice Michelle as Diva/Playmates.
If the soft-core rumors are true, with Michelle, she shares the distinction of hitting Diva/Playmate/Porn Star trifecta.
Michelle was fired back in June for not looking "Diva-like." With the overall toning-down of the television product, one must wonder, however, whether it was a politically motivated move to distance the company (and thus, the candidate) from a porn star. And conversely, why they'd bring on Beyor.
Getting back to Michelle, under the name Mackenzie Montgomery, Michelle appeared in over 60 hardcore porn films and scenes before and during her time as a WWE Diva, specializing in bondage films (including classics Gagged and Frightened!, Bare Breasted Bondage Girls, Hand Gagged!, and Guys And Girls: Ropes And Gags. The impressive resume reads like an RS Video order.
Why does this matter?
Well, it just seems disingenuous of candidate McMahon to 1. Distance herself for the company that's afforded her the luxury of self-financing her campaign; and 2. pretend it's something it's not.
(Then again, she's running for the US Congress. Lies and mistruths are part of the game I suppose.)
From Politico's Josh Kraushaar ("A Smackdown Against Linda McMahon"), "McMahon has played down her professional background on the campaign trail, and dismisses the criticism of the WWE, calling it family-friendly entertainment."
You want a seat in the US Senate? Start by being truthful about your own company. Everyone knows its reputation anyway. Hell, they can just check the YouTubes if they're unsure: If it's not the above Playmates getting down and dirty on the programs, you can always catch 10 minutes of simulated sex between two of the fighters.
But relax, Linda. People will understand that it's just "sports entertainment." Embrace it. It's not like you're peddling this smut to kids.
