You're Numero Uno in our book.

(AP Photo/Jerry Lai)

Shortly after my head exploded and I ranted over the dilemma of finding time for Dobbs, Abe & Helms, the Phils traded for Tad Iguchi. So phar, so good.

4/10
4 R
2 BB
1 2B
1 HR
1 SB

Just as things get going good, down go two speedster in the OF. Looks like Dobbsy will get some PT after all. Bourn and the Flyin' Hawaiian will be missed, hopefully for not too long.

This recent article on how to improve the Triple Crown made the hamster wheel in the ol' noggin start spinning.

The article is not worth reading. It merely scratches the surface by only discussing the Triple Crown. Its basis is wrong in believing the key to improving horse racing is by focusing on the Triple Crown, and those improvements can be accomplished through minor tweaks like spreading out races, larger purses and using the same network. All fine and dandy, but it doesn't get to the belly of the beast.

I have decided to dedicate a chunk of my life to answering the question of how to garner more interest in horse racing. Today marks the first edition of an ongoing mind warp. Let it begin…

One of the main appeals of sports is the rivalries. We enjoy the added competition, the hate for the opposing team or player. For instance, the only time I watch a regular season hockey game is if the Red Wings are playing the Avalanche.

I hate the Avalanche and particularly Claude Lemieux because of the rivalry started in 1996.

Horse racing needs rivalries. Luckily it embeds three prime opportunities to develop and exploit rivalries: horses, owners and trainers.

Today I will take a first look at horse vs. horse. It is an easy and quick way to drive interest. Street Sense vs. Hard Spun this year, Affirmed vs. Alydar, War Admiral vs. Seabiscuit. There are plenty of examples where broadcasters have drummed up rivalries between horses. This is most commonly seen after the Kentucky Derby.

Once the derby is completed, the horse racing media trumpets the Preakness as a rivalry between the first and second place finishers, in doing so, sacrificing the other contenders. Should the two horses not finish one-two in the Preakness, the rivalry is dropped and no other three-year old rivalry for the year is established. The industry places the entire season and crop in one race.

In order to build a true rivalry, teams, players or animals need to compete against each other. Sadly, in horse racing, the top-level long-faced-fellows typically only race against each other in the Kentucky Derby and Preakness.

Larger purses and longer rest periods may help attract top horses to run the three legs of the Triple Crown, but the horse racing season should not be sold short. The interested parties need to coordinate to develop rivalries throughout the season. The Jim Dandy and Travers Stakes and horse trainers and owners would all mutually benefit from a well developed and promoted rivalry.

Fans want to pick sides. They want to have their horse. They want to stick it in the face of their buddy’s horse. But the current system does not allow the rivalry to properly surface and allow the competition to come to a head.

More on this later…

-posted C.R. Dunbar

Brush with greatness...

Actual text msg exchange between Rev & Ren:

Rev: I think we are at the bar w brutus the beefcake barber

Ren: You need to take me a picture and shoot it over...Ill let you know...Or ask if his name is Ed Lesslie

Rev: Correction_honkey tonk man

Ren: Greatest intercontinental champ ever

--

Apparently Honky makes over a G to just show up and sign autographs at county and state fairs, and, additionally, makes commission on what he sells. He then, mutton chops, jet black hair and all, basks in the attention he receives in airport bars, going so far as to pose with a championship strap.

Big fan.

McGuffie Mix Tapes

-posted by C. R. Dunbar

Watching the highlights of Cal Ripken and Tony Gwynn being inducted into the Hall of Fame yesterday, I had the thought that these two gentlemen were the last great baseball heroes of my lifetime. Everything that can be said about these two already has been said, but it made me a bit nostalgic for the years of my childhood when baseball was more American myth than a cheap imitation of the 2007 Tour de France.

Since baseball’s moronic strike and the advent of the long-ball era, we’ve had to suffer more than a decade of lowlights and lowlifes like 1) Sammy Sosa, he of the corked bat; 2) Rafael Palmeiro, the mustachioed finger wagger who got caught with Miggy Tejada’s B12 syringe stuck in his rear end; 3) Mark McGwire, whose tucked-tail performance in front of Congress proved that refrigerator sized men can be reduced to whimpering puddles of poo, and of course; 4) Barry Bonds, the unnatural one, who stands on the precipice of breaking the most hallowed record in all of sports, Hank Aaron’s home run record.

These are the guys that are supposed to follow Cal and Gwynn into Cooperstown? Tim Donaghy’s NBA fix is more authentic than these frauds.

***

I think baseball is big enough to survive the rough stretch it’s endured over the past decade. More importantly, there are more than enough great young players that can keep the game entertaining and (hopefully) scandal free. But I’m not ready to completely turn it over to the younger players …

During the 90’s, Ken Griffey, Jr. was arguably best all-around player in the Major Leagues. Though he played on a perennially underachieving team in Seattle, he still hit a ton of bombs and was a tremendous defensive presence in centerfield. Plus, he wore his cap backwards.

The swagger, the stature, the smile - by and large, America loved Junior.

Despite his unrivaled status as a superstar, the mounting losses (plus the construction of a new, not-so-hitter-friendly ballpark) wore on Junior. After essentially forcing his way out of Seattle, Junior landed in his hometown of Cincinnati. It was a ready-made story for a Hollywood blockbuster: the local boy coming home to resurrect the Morgan-Bench-Rose days of the Big Red Machine, the team that was the epitome of success in the 1970’s.

Sadly, things just have not played out the way Junior, the Reds – or the since departed Cincinnati management – would have liked. Injuries and age have limited Junior’s playing time, and the Reds – well, they continue to scrape the barrel of the worst division in major league baseball.

However, and almost in spite of the fact that absolutely no one is watching, Junior has shown that he can still play. Case in point – he’s batting .272 with 25 bombs and 67 RBI this year. He played probably the best game of any player on the NL roster at this year’s All Star game. Were it not for the fact that he’s stuck on such a bad team again, Junior would be getting a lot more attention.

Barring any unforeseen career-ending injuries, Junior will finish his career with over 600 homeruns, an accomplishment that used to and probably still should mean something. He’s still a couple years short of 40, and it’s conceivable that he still has 3 or 4 good years left in the tank.

Hopefully he’ll be able to go out a winner and make Cincinnati relevant again. More than likely though, he’ll just fade away. His prime has passed, and other younger talents like Pujols and A-Rod seem sure to eclipse him, if they have not already.

No matter how his career might end, one thing is for sure – Griffey is a first-ballot Hall of Famer. And on the day he stands for his induction into Cooperstown, we will be able to revisit the past decade in baseball and say that, yes, baseball heroes do still exist.

-posted by the Rev. Shaw Moore

Watch the entire vid, there is a payoff at the end.



-posted by Fat Willard

Better than any of us can say it.

In the wake of sports stories that disgust you, this is a tragic loss, and an inspiring tale of a man who really practiced what he preached. I don't pretend to know much about college basketball, but I think that these stories are the ones that truly hit home.

-posted by Ariel

For your reading pleasure: The Curse of Billy Penn.

Snap.



Crackle.



Pop.




I think Ron Bennington put it best when he said something to the extent of 'there is a difference between being just flat out awful and saying you are cursed. Or actually being dealt a series of misfortunes while having a talented bunch, year-in and year-out, and just simply being dealt a series of unfortunate, unexplainable circumstances.

When it comes to Philadelphia, I think the sports teams lie somewhere in the middle. For the last 24 years, most of the squads in all the cities major sports have just plain old stunk.

Then they tease you. They display some fire. Give cause for optimism. Then they rip your heart out.

I am not ready to concede that the town is indeed cursed, but I am convinced that someone up there just doesn’t want to cut us any slack.

Had the Phillies made a run at the playoffs. And given their pitching, management and coaching, that is a big IF, surely you’d have to consider the greatest second baseman in the game a viable MVP candidate.

3rd in the league in AVG
1st in Hits
1st in Doubles
3rd in RBI
2nd in Runs
1st in our Hearts

I’m not sure what to say about the guy or the injury that won’t be simply rehashing the disappointment spewing across the Delaware Valley.

Obviously Chuts will cause a huge gap both offensively and defensively in the lineup.

Hell even Uncle Choo-Choo recognizes that.



"Utley, to me, he's huge," Manuel said. "What the hell? He's a huge part of our offense, and he's a big part of our defense."

Thanks, Chuck.

Not only do you have the obvious subtraction of your MVP, while the team idly sits around at the trade deadline, the brainiacs are left with even more roster questions to make their heads explode.

So I’ll try to look at the bright side.

Greg Dobbs.

This forces Chalootz’s hand.

You move Abe Mendoza Nunez to 2B. (Thank you, David Bell, for causing us to part with Placido in exchange for Uggie Urbina).

Then you have to decide whether you left Dobbsy actually play or you feel content platooning him with Wes Helms.

Tough call, I know.

Hopefully they can keep things afloat for the next few weeks as Chuts vows to return. I hate to admit that Flash actually helps our bull pen, and Myers should be back soon.

In the meantime I plan on being miserable.

-posted by Ren McCormack

Finally. After what seemed like an eternity of Mike and Mike fill-ins, my boys are back. I cannot take it when they're gone. Even the most revered of sports writers and commentators could not turn my gray skies blue, cannot put the pep back in my step, cannot complete my morning routine the same way as my boys.

Many mornings I hear them discuss the trials and tribulations of sports' most infamous offenders. Whether it be criminals, cheaters, or just plain old divas, their discussions and opinions on today's sports leagues and players stretch beyond an update of the days news, and into a larger social commentary regarding the efficacy of sports.

This morning, Greeny brought up a very good article about the integrity of professional sports. This is a subject that gets me fired up. Not because I will stop watching or enjoying sports, but because to me it transcends sports and becomes a sort of greater example of the general deterioration of the human spirit.

The article is a very good read, indeed. When me and the Mr. decide to reproduce, I am going to teach my children that it is ok to value and respect sports figures for their merits on the field but that they are humans like everyone else. It matters to me how these people conduct themselves off the field because in today's society, if you choose to live in the public eye, you need to accept responsibilty for your actions in all parts of your life. I don't feel bad for any of these people. If you can't handle the pressures, if you can't handle the fame, if you can't handle that your life is constantly under the microscope then chose another profession.

I understand that people make mistakes, but as a professional anything you have to realize that your mistakes will be noticed by all. I will tell my kids that their sports heroes can be heroes of their sport but that as much as they excel on the field, they may fall very short off the field.

And don't even get me started on the NBA ref.... he pretty much solidified my hatred of professional basketball. But I'll save that discussion for another day.

-posted by Ariel

The start of college football season is a mere five weeks away. So starting today, I’ll be doing my best Tim Donaghy to give you an insider’s look at what to expect this college football season.

First up, the quarterbacks. It’s the most important position on the field, so it bears some examination:

Best of the Best

Brian Brohm , Louisville – The MVP of last year’s Orange Bowl, Brohm returns for his senior year at Louisville. Brohm is a polished passer with several prime-time targets at his disposal in WRs Mario Urrutia and Harry Douglas. Even though former coach Bobby Petrino left for greener pastures (?) with the Atlanta Falcons, expect the Cardinals to continue their offensive fireworks with new coach Steve Kragthorpe at the helm. Kragthorpe traces his roots to the west-coast oriented BYU passing attack, so moving the ball and piling up points should not be a problem with the talented Brohm under center. Brohm’s on all the early season awards watch lists, and there’s a reason Mel Kiper has him ranked at the top of his draft board for 2008.

Pat White , West Virginia – White may be the most electrifying runner at QB since Ookie Mexico. With an injured Steve Slaton on the shelf, White single-handedly dismantled Georgia Tech to help West Virginia come back to win last year’s Gator Bowl. West Virginia’s choice-option offense is nearly unstoppable, and White runs it to perfection. He has track-star speed and is a threat to take it to the house every time he touches the ball. Plus, he is developing into a better passer, so expect the Mountaineers to hit a few more home run balls through the air this year. With White at the helm in Morgantown, West Virginia is favored to win the Big East and is a legitimate national championship contender this year.

Chad Henne , Michigan – Henne returns to Michigan for his senior campaign hoping to finally propel the Wolverines past Ohio State and back into the national championship picture. Henne has possibly one of the strongest arms in college football, and the experience he’s gained as a three-year starter should prove invaluable as he leads Michigan into the Big Ten season. Henne is complemented by a strong running back in Mike Hart, burner WR Mario Manningham, and All-American tackle Jake Long. The Big House will be rocking once again this year with Henne calling the shots.

John David Booty , USC – Booty returns to lead the Trojans, who will find themselves in the hunt for the national championship once again this year. Booty lost several targets from last year’s team, including Dwayne Jarrett and Steve Smith; however, the Trojans’ offensive cupboard is always well-stocked, and Pete Carroll’s teams have never had a problem scoring points. While he’s not the most astounding athlete, Booty is a smart passer and plays within his own abilities – he won’t force a lot of throws or play USC out of games.

Best of the Rest

Tim Tebow , Florida – Tebow plays more like a linebacker than he does a quarterback. As a freshman last year, he was the bulldozer in Urban Meyer’s offense. This year, he’ll be asked to do a little bit more than push the pile. Tebow may be more adept than last year’s QB Chris Leak in running the spread-option attack the way Meyer wants it run. It’s yet to be seen if Tebow’s physical play and willingness to take on tacklers will pose a durability risk this upcoming season. However, and if he stays healthy, Tebow should be one of the better performers at the position this year.

Colt McCoy , Texas – It’s fitting that a kid named Colt would play for the Longhorns. It doesn’t hurt that he has a big time arm and more than. McCoy played well last year as a freshman in his first year as a starter. With a year under his belt, McCoy should take a big step forward in 2007. Texas’ fortunes ride with the young QB, so Longhorn fans everywhere are expecting great things out of McCoy in his sophomore campaign.

Colt Brennan , Hawaii – The other Colt on this list, Brennan posted the all time record for TD passes in a season last year with 58 scoring passes. Enough said, right? Wrong. Brennan gets knocked because he 1) plays for Hawaii, and 2) he could be the second coming of David Klingler. Aside from that, he may throw for 60 TDs this year. It at least bears mentioning.

Best QB You’ve Never Heard Of

Matt Grothe , South Florida – A dual threat both running and throwing the football, Grothe is one of the most surprising and underrated talents in all of college football. It is possible that Grothe could throw for 2,500 yards and run for 1,000 more this season. If he does, South Florida could be crashing the top of the Big East Conference standings – and possibly even the BCS.

Biggest Question Marks

Jimmy Clausen , Notre Dame – Clausen was one of the most heralded recruits coming of high school last year, but it’s yet to be determined if he will be ND’s opening day starter. That may be because asking a true freshman to lead Notre Dame’s offense as well as or better than Brady Quinn did last year could be too much to ask. Without question, Clausen has the talent and tools to be one of the next great quarterbacks for the Irish, but the learning curve for freshman QBs at big time programs (see: Mitch Mustain) is a bit steep.

Matt Flynn , LSU – Flynn has the unenviable task of replacing quarterback JaMarcus Russell, the top pick in this past year’s NFL draft. LSU’s receiving corps is depleted with the departure of Dwayne Bowe, so a lot will be asked of Flynn in terms of moving the ball down the field. Plus, the loss of offensive coordinator Jimbo Fisher to Flordia State could hurt the Tigers - and Flynn, for that matter – more than people may think. The Bayou Bengals are in the top-10 of many preseason polls, but they could fall quickly if Flynn doesn’t perform well.

Others to Watch

Andre Woodson, Kentucky
Nate Longshore, California
Brandon Cox, Auburn
Riley Skinner, Wake Forest
Stephen McGee, Texas A&M
Bobby Reid, Oklahoma State
Eric Ainge, Tennessee

-posted by the Rev. Shaw Moore

Thanks to Page 6 & With Leather:

KIMBERLY Williams, the June 2007 Penthouse Pet, has never met football legend Marcus Allen - and she wants to keep it that way. After talking on the phone for a few weeks, "he seemed like a really nice guy. But . . . I quickly found out that this is not a guy I want to know," the pin-up told Steppin' Out magazine's Chauncé Hayden. Kimberly was creeped out that Allen is a regular at the Playboy Mansion, and that his MySpace page is filled with girlfriends thanking him for "lunch." "So I started to pull away from him just to protect myself. But he calls me over 15 times a day! . . . He started to send me these terrible text messages. 'Where the hell are you, Kimberly!' . . . It's really scary . . . Things got really bad after I did the Howard Stern show. He got very upset that I got nude on the show. Hello! I'm a Penthouse Pet . . . I told him he needed to calm down . . . But he got even angrier." Allen's lawyer, Larry Stein, told Page Six: "It's the other way around. She's the one pursuing him. She started sending him pictures of herself with no clothes on. She's trying to get publicity."

(That and sociopath tendencies)

From Peter King's 7/24 post on CNN/SI:

"I would bet you," Tampa Bay cornerback Ronde Barber told me, "that every player in the NFL knows someone who has been to a dogfight."

Only an idiot would take that bet. Surely, every player in the NFL knows Michael Vick. What a huckster that Ronde is.

Every week my parents threaten to throw out every last piece of my junk still left in their basement and garage. Lucky for me, they still think it’s 1988 and that my sports card collection will eventually one day buy them a shore house. So, it is the one thing I know will be safe until I have the opportunity to finally organize them in some manner. Literally, I have foot lockers full of them, and unfortunately, few seem to be stored with any rhyme or reason.

This past weekend, while D-Beck and Spicy set foot in the New World, I stepped back into the dark hole that is my parents’ basement and started thumbing through those precious little pieces of cardboard, thinking maybe I’d find an old rookie card worth a cool 3 bucks. Well, truth be told, I was initially looking through some old Becketts as reference to a soon to be written gem by Fat Willard (I won’t give that away just yet, you’ll have to wait). But anyway, it ended up I went through 2 shoeboxes of cards with pops. I don’t know what was more fun, coming across a 1982 Fleer Lonnie Smith and thinking of him attacking the Phillie Phanatic, or hearing my dad say the words, “Oooh Rick Shue.”

At some point I came across a 1992 Pinnacle Lance Parrish, that handsome mustachioed feller. He was coming off a .212 campaign with the Angels shortly after becoming one of the far-too-many members of Phillie phree agent bust club.

Fat Willard and I have a jones for those old Topps “facts” on the back of cards that always seemed borderline absurd. Well, equally absurd was the Pinnacle tidbit on the back of Parrish’s card. To paraphrase, Lance wanted to finish his career the all-time leading homerun hitter among catchers and at the time trailed only Bench (389), Fisk (371 at the time), Berra (358) and Gary Carter (320 at the time), he of white afro fame. This fact floored me. At the time, Parrish had 292 dongs. And wound up tied Carter on the all-time list with 324.

Look at that list.

Bench, Fisk, Berra, Carter…Parrish(?). What business does he have on there?

Lance Parrish is ranked in the top 100 HR hitters of all-time. He was an 8-time all star. I don’t know if it’s that I chose to block the fact out that he was a decent player, given his over-hype and under-performance in the City of Brotherly Love, or that Piazza, Pudge and Posada spoiled us in recent years. Either way, I was ready to rip him in this piece. But the more I looked at his career, the more I realized just how under-appreciated serviceable catchers are. Sure, everyone knows how important they are to grooming young pitching staffs and being on-field generals, but rarely do catchers (aforementioned 3’s P’s not included) get their due for doing the intangibles, or in Parrish’s case, the tangibles. Meanwhile, Dutch jacks himself up one summer with Nails, puts out two good seasons, brings the Phitins to a World Series and is beloved by all, despite believing he had really nothing to do with his own on field performance. (I include myself in this group). I then listen to people boo Rod Barajas every night, granted he's getting paid $2 mil while Chris Coste fails to get younger and Chico Ruiz is turning some heads. OK, nevermind, bad example.

So with this post, I offer an apology. Larry, I mean Lance, I hardly knew ye.

-posted by Ren McCormack



Photo courtesy of Great Lakes Loons baseball, www.loons.com, where Lance Michael Parrish became the first manager in team history.

I had a vested interest in last night’s Red Sox vs. Indians game on ESPN2 for three reasons. I am a Yankees fan (save the hate mail-I get it). I am basically rooting for both teams to lose. A Red Sox loss and a Yankees win cuts their lead in the East to 5 ½. A loss by the Indians and a win by the Yanks drops the Tribe’s lead in the wild card to 5 ½. Both scenarios hinge on a Yankees win although I am fully prepared to watch a Royals sweep -it’s been that kind of season.

The second reason was for fantasy purposes. About a month ago, in need of pitching help, I turned in my Grady’s Ladies gear and traded Sizemore for Robbie Cano, Jorge Sosa, and Jon Lester. While Cano was a huge upgrade over my Marcus Giles/Rickie Weeks poop-toon and Sosa was a serviceable starter, I considered Lester the steal of the deal. Recovering from lymphoma cancer, my Red Sox informants assured me it was only a matter of time before Julian Tavarez punched himself into a coma (0-4 with a 7.71 ERA in his last five starts) and Lester was inserted in the rotation.

The third reason was the Sox fans bitching at the HHR staff for the lack of coverage on this site. Here, now shut up.

I was hoping for a John Miller and Joe Morgan booth, just for Joe to say something to send Ken Tremendous at firejoemorgan.com into an epileptic fit tomorrow. We are treated to a three-man booth of Gary Cohen, Orel Hershiser and Steve Phillips.

Pregame hype. Sox, Indians, first place, Lester, cancer, Sox in slump, cancer, Tavarez just stole Chief Wahoo’s tomahawk and is terrorizing fans on line for hot dogs, cancer, yada, yada. cancer.

(I missed the first few innings to shave and shower. Hey, I don’t get paid for this shit; I do it in my free time. I have work in the morning. You want inning by inning of witty commentary about a Sox game, go read Simmons.)

Bottom of the 3rd and Phillips is sent down to the stands (lets hope he trips on a Cracker Jack box and takes a luxury seat to the temple) to interview John Lester Sr. about his son’s recovery from cancer (who knew) and how well he is pitching in his first game back. On cue, Grady Sizemore sends a Lester pitch into the lap of the Indian's drum section. The camera flashes back to Phillips and Lester Sr. for an uncomfortable pause as both men wait for the ball to land so the interview can continue.

Top of the 4th and in-studio analyst John Kruk comes on to discuss the thatch of brush cemented to his head and his battle with testicular cancer.

Bottom of the 4th and Lester gets out of a bases loaded jam by striking out Sizemore and follows with a “that’ll teach you to piss on my old man’s national TV interview” fist pump. All of these women cry.

My skinnier and better half returns home.

“Do you want me to sign you up to be one of Grady’s Ladies?”
“Who the hell is Grady?”
“He is an outfielder for the Indians.”
“Is he hot?”
“You would have to tell me that.”
“Well, you would say Tom Brady is good looking, how does he compare?”
“I know Tom Brady is good looking because society tells me he is.”

I pretend to type something really important on my laptop because this conversation is never going to end.

Top of the 5th- Manny launches a rocket into the left center field fence but broke into his home run trot walking out of the dugout into the on-deck circle. Manny ends up with a long single. The announcers point out that Manny doesn’t run it out and it could come back to haunt the Sox….and on cue, a 3-6-3 double play. Manny gets high-fives and congratulations when he returns to the dugout, for what, I have no god damn idea. Maybe Manny is Manny because people let it slide.

They send it out to Rick Sutcliffe in San Francisco. He is doing the second game of coverage and not Joe Morgan. Crap.

Sutcliffe pregame hype includes Bonds, home run record, Hank Aaron, Bonds, Selig, Tavarez has the ESPN Deportes team bound and gagged in the booth and is doing his own play-by-play in which he is throwing a perfect game and 4-4 with 4 grand slams in the DH slot, record, Bonds, blah blah…

Sutcliffe looks sober. Now there is really no reason to watch the second game. Except, I have this feeling Leather is doing the Bonds game. He wants to be there in case 755 happens. He practices the call every day. In mirrors, in his reflection in a spoon, on the crapper while his booming voice echoes through the men’s room. And I know he has a dumb song ready for the occasion.

(Second intermission to make breakfast and lunch for work tomorrow.)

Top of the 7th- Lester is out and is congratulated in the dugout by every member of the Red Sox. The line is good: 6 innings, 2 earned runs, 5 hits, 3 walks, 6 K’s. I’ll take that every fantasy start so long as the Sox lose the other games. They show the Lester’s in the stands, breathing a sign of relief and congratulating one another. I am happy for them. Uggh...I don’t want to like a Red Sox player, I really don’t.

“That is Grady Sizemore.”
“Oh wasn’t he like a top draft pick, played for Notre Dame.”
“That’s Brady Quinn. This is Grady Sizemore. They are two different people and it’s two completely different sports.”
“Oh..well. I want to be one of Brady’s Ladies”
“There is no such thing.”
“If there ever is, let me know. I am in.”

Since Lester’s departure, I have lost all interest in this game. I’m checking email, flipping channels and following the Tavarez standoff on Telemundo. I am sticking around for the start of the Giants game just to see if my Leather theory is correct.

Switch over to Monday Night Raw. No dead wrestlers to report. For now.

Manny Delcarmen gets the save. Unfortunately the Sox win but we throw it to….

....Dave O’Brien and Rick Sutcliffe in San Francisco.

Damn. No leather.

That’s it for me.

-posted by Fat Willard

Finding new things to write about for a sports blog is not easy. There are thousands of sites dedicated to teams, players, mascots, and even fans. Finding a new angle is rough especially with three major sports in their offseason. Oh and hockey.

So I waste time browsing YouTube looking for ideas. One clip leads to another and I come across this gem.



This man will eventually become the Assistant to the Traveling Secretary for the New York Yankees. So, it’s sports related.

I have so many questions…

> Was soggy lettuce and tomato really an issue with hamburgers? What the hell is a lettuce and tomato hamburger anyway? Since when do you say toppings first? Has anyone ever ordered it like that? If so, they deserve a finger poke to the larynx for it. It’s a hamburger WITH lettuce and tomato.

>Was this before or after the rumble with the Sharks and the Jets?

>Did people really dress like that? I must have blocked it all out or maybe the colors caused a temporary blindness I have yet to fully recover from. The colors are so bright.

>Think those huge McDLT Styrofoam containers have decomposed yet? Ask the kid living next to the landfill where they are all buried, but speak up, the third ear is just for show.

>“HEY! You say you are tired of lettuce and tomato hamburgers in the town?”
“Um, no, we were just walking to work. But stop nosing in on our conversation you troll.”

>A wig? A hairpiece? Extensions? His real hair? I’d believe any of those answers until I found this on Alexander's IMDB page.
Started losing his hair at the age of 16.
That eliminates real hair. I say most is real, the rest is a piece.

This crowd is only dancing because they haven’t actually eaten the burger yet. Give them a half hour and they will feel more bloated then Anna Nicole on the final plane ride to the Bahamas. (To soon?) Three hours later comes the dance to the bathroom to celebrate the McBM.

- posted by Fat Willard

While Stuart Scott determines whether it is cooler to have baby mama drama or commercials with your pet chihuahua, we are thick into the season of a re-budding sport: horse racing.

Granted, the Triple Crown is by far the most exciting part of the season and deserves attention, but it is only the start of the season not the end.

Tomorrow morning, the Lady Dunbar and I will be catching the Virginia Derby, the second leg of the $5 million "Grand Slam of Grass." This will be the fifth time this year I convince myself that I understand the sport but go home angry at life and eating bologna for a week.

The reason for this season's malaise, self doubt and flashes of what can be described as ‘roid rage is no other than Todd Pletcher. He has been awarded three consecutive Trainer of the Year awards, but has awarded me with an empty wallet and a stress-induced twitchy eye that he takes pleasure in poking.

Any Given Saturday, Sam P. and King of the Roxy burned me in the stakes races before the Kentucky Derby. For the Kentucky Derby, I bet heavily on Scat Daddy only to have Pletcher put a thumb in my eye with a 18th place finish. Clearly, I'm a masochist at this point and pick Circular Quay for the Preakness. Pletcher takes the opportunity to throw a jab to the eye to loosen it up a bit with another loss.

For the Belmont, I am set on not betting on another Pletcher horse. He has one in the race, Rags to Riches, a filly. A filly hasn't won the Belmont since 1905. Of course, you know what happens. Rags to Riches gives Pletcher his first ever Triple Crown race win and ruins my trifecta.

This brings me back to the Virginia Derby. Pletcher has entered Circular Quay, who has never raced on turf. I have made the decision to stay away, even though the horse's class and speed levels are superior to every other horse.

I am going with a slight underdog with Inca King, who may be able to shake loose from the competition and have enough gas at the end to stave off the competition. However, I'm bringing my James Worthy-esque sports goggles in case Pletcher is there to give me the ultimate Three Stooges inspired eye-gouge.

-posted by C.R. Dunbar

It's about 8:00 AM. I slowly rise from a deep sleep to the sounds of Preston and Steve blaring from my clock radio. Slowly, and quietly, as to not awake the ticking time-bomb that is my sleeping husband, I walk the bathroom and begin my daily dance of shower, hair, makeup, teeth, etc.

I emerge from the steam and dampness refreshed, ready to face another day. But not because I feel clean and awake. I know that beyond that door back in the bedroom awaits two familiar faces that I've come to enjoy and greatly appreciate over the past two years. No, not Frank and Sophie my feline children.

Ahhh.... its Mike and Mike.

Relationships are all give and take. When I moved in with my husband (way before he was my husband) my morning routine of The Weather Channel and the Today Show were replace with SportsCenter or the occasional rerun of Saved by the Bell. As time wore on, my patience with SportsCenter dwindled. They re-air the same stories over, and over, and over... just gets old.

Soon, I noticed there were different voices coming from my TV in the morning.... one, a familiar voice, a voice from my childhood. A voice associated with Sunday afternoons in fall and winter, when I would sit among the men in my family (everyone except me and my mom) and watch the Eagles. "Mike Golic is on ESPN now?" I asked. Hmmm.... I'll give him a try, if only because he was an Eagle. "Who's that other guy with him?" I ask, as I try to glean some sort of understanding about the two men with whom I'll now share my morning routine. "He's pretty good, I think you'll like him," said the hubby.

And so the love affair began. Each morning I look forward to their insightful sports commentary married with their love of pop culture and covering the stories that I usually have to wait to see on Access Hollywood or Extra. They are funny, quirky, and oddly attractive, but that's because every woman loves a man with a sense of humor and the ability to mock himself.

Being a woman "in the know" comes with many advantages. I genuinely enjoy sports, and consider myself a pop-culture junkie. Mike and Mike give me the tools I need to be a savvy businesswoman while feeding my addiction of who-wore-what-when and whos-pregnant-with-whos-baby. I can discuss A-Rod, Mike Vick, Lindsay Lohan, Brit-Brit, the all-star break, the NFL draft, Emmy nominations and Barry Bonds breaking the record pretty seamlessly, all while entertaining discussions with both male and female colleagues. Starting a sentence with "So, on Mike and Mike this morning...." puts me in a league of my own, and impresses the toughest of critics.

Mike and Mike... I love you. Keep on keepin on.

-posted by Ariel

by Peter the King

1. I think part of the process of social, political and technological integration we call globalization is the construction of an increasingly global popular culture.

2. I think enough is enough. It’s been four years now. What do I have to do to get another installment of Lord of The Rings? Each film was like getting a magical ticket to a mystical far away land. And you could stay for 3 hours! I mean, can’t we just make some new stories up? What gives? And where the hell is Samwise?

3. I think this new breed of personal trainer you see at the gym is quite remarkable. You know, the strong aloof ones who couldn’t care less about their clients. “Sure, wave those dumbbells around, whatever…Or just sit on your fat-ass…I get paid either way.” I think their indifference leads to many an adrenaline-charged, spite-filled session for their clients. I really do. I mean, look at me – I’m slightly less fat than I previously was. Which is nice, it really enables me to get my slimmed down mug pretty deep into Tom Brady’s taste-tastic taint.


I think I looked better portly

4. I think the reason USA Basketball has been struggling so mightily, is because US Foreign Policy is really hurting the chances of our young people getting laid while abroad. Why should Kevin Durant have to be subjected to the horror of walking up to a cute, seemingly native hottie only to hear about how big, evil America wants everyone’s oil? Imagine going to the red-light district in Amsterdam only to get a lecture about how you are idly standing by while your President is destroying the world – it’s murder on your jumper. Instead, it just makes you wanna slap a bitch and ask her if she thinks if you had that kind of pull you would be out paying for Dutch vag.

5. Look he’s a great player. No question. Hall of Famer. But, I don’t think Derek Jeter really needed to jump to throw that guy out.

6. I think instead of watching Clerks II, I should have re-watched the Soprano’s finale one more time. I don’t want to give too much away, but it involves everyone gathering in a store and talking blowjobs and sci-fi trilogies. Plus, there’s vulgarity.

7. I think this is sad, and a real cautionary tale, especially coming on the hands of Ookie Mexico’s fall from grace. Nevertheless, I’ve talked to my sources and it appears that Dave Matthews just isn’t that into himself anymore.

8. Speaking of sad...I think it’s really sad how we don’t know who invented the BJ. We hear an awful lot about Madam Curie, but nothing about the first woman to go, “Well you know what would be really great? If I put that in my mouth…”

9. I think it’s appalling that most Americans can’t tell me what a Breakfast-Blend is…Jeepers folks; it’s a medium-roasted blend containing coffees that are gentle and not overbearingly acidic. A balanced brew, intended to be enjoyed with just a touch of milk and sugar so as to provide a flavor that is just refreshing and delicate enough to sustain multiple refills and compliment a heavy-ish American eggs based breakfast.

10. I think when I die it would be great to come back as an 80’s movie bad guy…You know like Johnny or Chaz or something. Couldn’t you just picture ole PK really leaning into someone with something like…”Hey, listen up spazzoid! That’s right, I’m talking to you Pukebreath…Let’s get something straight right now, Buffy is my girl. Wanna know why? Because I rule this school. Dweeb! Then my crew and I would high five, cackle and snap towels as we sauntered through the locker room.

- posted by Chuck Cranston

This kid absolutely shreds defenses.

Ok, so they’re little leaguers. Still, it deserves bonus points because of Pacman’s theme song playing in the background.

Thanks to the folks at The Big Lead for this link.

-posted by Rev. Shaw Moore

Chicago Cubs first baseman Derrek Lee has decided to drop the appeal of his five game suspension and serve his time beginning this Wednesday.

I don’t know the MLB handbook cover to cover. I don’t know all the specifics regarding suspensions and the appeals process. I don’t understand why a suspended player is allowed to choose when his suspension sentence will be served. I really don’t understand how a player can appeal when there is always video evidence.

This is almost as absurd as pitchers serving suspensions while not missing a start. Isn’t a suspension a punishment? This is the adult version of out of school suspension. (One of my favorite school punishments. “You stay out of school for a few days, sleep in, play video games, eat junk food and watching ten straight hours of television and you think about what you did to end up there.” Whatever a kid did, he was god damn brillant.)

ESPN will replay anything controversial at least thirteen hundred times before the Commissioner’s office gets a chance to screw up their decision. Maybe Lee used the R. Kelly defense.

Ring…Ring…

“Commissioner Selig here.”
“Commish? It’s me, Derrek Lee.”
“Oh hello Derrek. How are you?”
“I am fine. Did I catch you at a bad time?”
“No, no I am just planning a trip to promote Major League Baseball product into other countries. Working on an itinerary for a meeting in Kuala Lumpur.”
“Oh, that sounds fun, how long will you be gone?”
“Well, that depends on a ton of factors, but probably till right after Bonds breaks Henry’s record. What could I help you with anyway Derrek?”
“Oh….uhhh…well…I am sure you can kind of guess why I am calling.”
“It’s about the bench clearing brawl you incited with Chris Young and the Padres isn’t it?”
“Yeah, umm about that.”
“I’ve reviewed the tapes and…”
“Well that’s why I am calling. I wanted to let you know that it wasn’t me on those tapes.”
“I understand Derrek. Baseball is an intense game. It’s also a very dangerous game. A player takes their life in their hands every time they step to the plate. Sometimes when pitches come too close you can almost see your life flash before. Then the adrenaline pops into fourth gear and you are ready to take on the world. I understand you weren’t of sound mind at that moment.”
“Actually, I meant that literally, that was not me on the field. It was my half nephew Tayshaun. I took the afternoon off and caught a White Sox game.”

Silence

“Derrek, I am going to hang up now. You will be hearing from someone in my office in about a day or two. Take care of yourself.”

Click. Dial tone.

“Damn. I knew I should have said it was Mike Epps.”



-posted by Fat Willard

Matt Millen just signed Cory Redding to the largest DT contract in the NFL. Check the Pro Bowl team. That's right, he's not there. If this was high school sports, he wouldn't even receive an all-state honorable mention. Perhaps not even qualify for the position as he moved from DE mid-season.

But that's the genious of MM. Two members that were on the Pro Bowl, Tommie Harris (Bears) and Pat Williams (Vikings).

Everyone knows that contracts are negotiated by comparison levels. If a professional sports player receives a high contract, stinks the next year, the new free agents will say that they at least deserve that amount of money.

DTs across the NFL are chomping on their concussion-enforced mouth pieces at their pay day next year. Two of the top DTs happen to be in the NFC North and are already glossy-eyed.

Who cares that Cory Redding isn't better than the man that lines up next to him or that they are basing the enormous contract on an unproven coach or that the entire salary cap is tied into WR that don't play and DTs that are injured.

MM can see the future for other teams and understands what it takes to bust a salary cap.

-posted by C.R. Dunbar

Is this why Stuart Scott is still employed by the network? Sportscenter has become a self-aggrandizing farce.

Granted, this is a slow sports news month - but as I’ve heard other places, is that reason enough for ESPN to create their own “news” with a goofy tournament dedicated to determining what sports personalities, essentially, are the “coolest”?

Gimme a break.

I hope Dan Patrick points to this down the road as says, “yep, that was the tipping point and why I knew it was time for me to move on.”

-posted by Rev. Shaw Moore

Courtesy of our friend at YFTS. Go ahead and hug him when you get a chance.

Back in ’05, J-Roll raised the ire of many a Philadelphia sports fan by noting, “Patience is a virtue, and it'd be nice to see patience from a Philly fan. But that's not what they're known for. And you'd better believe, they like the reputation.”

I, being one of those Phans, thought to myself, “The balls on this guy.” The worst part was, this was a free swinging, low average lead-off hitter, who, in the mold of Lenny Dykstra, thinks he should be a power hitter. Yet, he makes up for his shortcomings by excelling in all most all other areas – be it stealing bases, flashing some serious leather or popping one out when you need it. Phans loved him, and forgot about his off the cuff, and probably unintentional, jab at them. Because he produced and at least showed some spunk on a series of otherwise spunkless teams during his tenure.

So when I saw Adam Eaton in a post 10K interview say: “When you have 125 years of existence as an organization, I think you should be the first team to get to a great milestone like that," I almost lost it.

Say what you will about Philadelphia Phans, they are patient. If they boo you, you probably deserve it. If they boo you, it’s because they refuse to settle for mediocrity. They boo, but they pack CBP nightly. They want to see their team(s) win. They want to see their players succeed. They want management and ownership as interested in W’s as they are in $’s.

Adam Eaton, to rip a line from Cameron Frye, “Pardon my French, but you're an a**hole! A**hole!”

Where do you get off? You just got your ass lit up, as you have most of the season, while stealing $7 mil+ this year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know…he was joking. That’s the problem. Do your f’n job and leave the comedy to Uncle Cholly’s press conference.

-posted by Ren McCormack

As you drive north on Interstate 65 in Louisville, about 1 ½ miles from the University of Louisville and Cardinal Stadium, you’ll see a brand new billboard on the side of the road. It bears the image of a serious looking Andre Woodson, quarterback for the University of Kentucky Wildcats football team, with the slogan attached:

“Believe In Blue.”

First, this is kind of a cheap rip off from the Indianapolis Colts, who also employ the same “Believe In Blue” slogan. Aside from that, however, is the backhanded swipe this billboard seems to take.

You see, this is pretty close to the heart of the city, steps away from where the Cards play their home games. It’s like a big, wet fart right in the middle of town –any self-respecting athlete, let alone any fan who follows sports, couldn’t interpret this as anything less than an insult.

That said, going to billboards is a step up from UK’s most recent statewide media campaign. At least a few more people will see these. I imagine a website could be coming in the next couple of years.

The thing is, I think this is a pretty ballsy move on UK’s part - yet there’s not much merit to back it up. Granted, UK posted a winning record (8-5) and won the Music City Bowl last year, the school’s first bowl win since 1983. They return several explosive players, including a potential top-10 draft pick in quarterback Andre Woodson, all SEC wide receiver Keenan Burton, and hard-hitting linebacker Wesley Woodyard.

Despite the talent they’ve assembled, they dropped every regular season game they played against good competition last year: a 59-28 blowout loss to UofL; a tepid 26-7 loss to Florida, a score that is much closer than the game tape would indicate; a 49-0 no-show against LSU, and; a 17-12 loss to Tennessee to extend their winless streak against the Vols to 22 games.

An eight point victory against an indifferent Clemson in the Music City Bowl does offer some glimmer of hope going in to the 2007 season, but it’s hardly justification for all the brash talk of beating UofL, Florida, Tennessee that’s been coming out of Lexington lately. Local sports columnist Eric Crawford may have said it best – "...maybe it will be tantamount to a puppy barking at a passing tractor trailer."

We’ll have to wait until the third week of the season to find out if the billboards inspired UK fans to have any more faith in their team – that’s when the Cats and Cards meet up to renew their rivalry in Lexington. (Incidentally, this game used to be the first game of the season for both teams. UK begged to have this game later in the year so they could be better prepared …)

The smart money says Louisville will win this one again, and they’ll probably win it big.

I’d expect those billboards will be coming down soon after.

- posted by Rev. Shaw Moore

From Newsday.com, July 16, 2007: "I don't know too much about 10,000 losses," Phillies manager Charlie Manuel said. "I try and concentrate on the wins."

Cholly admitting he doesn't know too much about something pertaining to his team. Go figure.

-posted by Ren McCormack

This bold statement was a proudly worn T-Shirt boastfully displayed weekly on “Beer Pong Night” at the dingy basement on Redoaks Avenue by alcohol and lady enthusiast, “The Mush.”

When someone would inquire, “Mush, how do you stop plate tectonics?” he would proudly cackle “YOU CAN’T…JUST LIKE YOU CAN’T STOP ME IN BEER PONG!”

(Of course, no one actually knew what the hell plate tectonics were).

What does this have to do with anything?

This morning, the emails, phone calls and back slaps poured in. “Way to go, Ren.” “Congrats on 10,000.”

What can I say? It was inevitable. Like plate tectonics, nothing short of Armageddon could have prevented it.

Like all other negative Philly sports stigmatisms, the best thing to do as a Phan is to simply embrace it. Take it from Rob in Swingers, “It's like manifest destiny, don't tell me we didn't make it, we made it. We are here, and everything that has passed is prologue to this. All of the sh*t that didn't kill us is only... you know, all that sh*t. You're gonna get over it.”

-posted by Ren McCormack

Andruw Jones has been a fantasy killer all season.

But this morning's Yahoo player update brings a ray of hope out of Hotlanta.

Jul 16- Morris News Service's Brandon Larrabee reports Atlanta Braves OF Andruw Jones' 0-for-4 performance on July 15 ended a five-game hitting streak that saw him bat .500 (8-for-16) with three home runs, boosting his total for the season to 17.

Jones credits his recent resurgence to choking up on the bat, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports. He was hitting .302 with six homers over 14 games before going 0-for-4 on Sunday.

Awesome. Did he go back to his little league coach for batting tips?

"Andruw...choke up on the bat, take a nice level swing and stop stepping into the bucket. And for christ's sakes don't go swimming before games."

-posted by Fat Willard

A new feature on HHR. (We've been around a week, everything is a new feature.)



According to Sheff...

He will comment on baseball, world affairs, the Oscars, Lindsay and Brittany or anything else that needs an honest opinion.

Today, Sheff tackles racism on the Yankees...

According to the Sheff, honesty is the best policy. So ask him a question and he’ll spit out the honest answer. Then when the fit hits the shan he will backtrack faster then a misjudged fly ball.

Here is the latest.

This is my favorite part of the story

Sheffield claims black and white players in the Yankees clubhouse were treated differently, specifically how players Tony Womack and Kenny Lofton were handled by Torre.

Take a peek at Womack’s Yankee tenure.

Now Kenny Lofton's.

Not exactly the players the Yanks thought they were signing. Lofton, currently ranked 16th all time in stolen bases, swiped a dreadful seven bases in ten attempts over 82 games. Womack stunk up the joint at second base, forcing the team to bring up an unprepared Robinson Cano. After going donut for his first twenty-something at bats, Cano caught fire and posted a huge rookie campaign. Womack was moved to left field then shipped out of town.

Maybe Torre just called out Lofton and Womack because they were terrible.

The Sheff is bitter. He was injured. The Yanks needed an outfielder for a playoff run. They snagged Bobby Stats. Sheff became expendable.
Is Sheff a better hitter then Stats? Yes.
Is Sheff a better outfielder? Debatable. It all depends if this happens to be the day Stats decided to give at least 83% on the field.
Is Sheff a better teammate? No.
Is Sheff a team distraction? Yes.

Will Sheff win a World Series as a key member of the Tigers? Looks like a possibility. Then the Tigers trashing begins around Thanksgiving. After one last cheap shot at the Yankees.

-posted by Fat Willard

If there is any reason for a Phecal Phillies Phan to look forward to franchise loss #10,000, it would be to quell the excitement over the imminent pearls of wisdom that Uncle Choo-Choo will undoubtedly spout out. Thus it will kick off our soon-to-be-ongoing feature "Choo-Choo Chollisms."

-posted by Ren McCormack

Why would you care about NASCAR? You are a baseball fan or a football fan. You've never watched it on TV, get angry when SportsCenter does NASCAR highlights, and maybe even drive a foreign car (blasphemer). So, why would you want to spend your precious time reading some North Carolinian yellow-dog southern Baptist's take on the traditional redneck sport? Well, I'll give you 3 quick reasons, and then just challenge you to read my first post (below), and keep coming back for more.

1) NASCAR is American, and if you don't love America, then this blog's not for you, buddy. The Great American Race, hot dogs, beer, and rednecks. These are the very things that make America great, my friends.

2) NASCAR is raw power. 43 drivers in 135 degree 865 hp stock cars racing at close to 200 mph mere inches from each other, beating, banging, and sliding all over the race track. You do the math.

3) NASCAR is hands down the fastest growing sport in America. The NHL is dying a slow death. The NBA is a joke. Each year, NASCAR adds more and more fans, from all walks of life. There may even be a race track in NYC in the coming years.

Now that you are all recent converts to the greatest show on 4 wheels, I give you my (BK's) first post . . .


Hendrick: Junior will have new sponsor next season

Well, it looks like a marriage born in heaven will soon be coming to an end. Starting in 2008, Dale Jr. will not be driving the red Budweiser car that's made him so famous. Rumor has it that he might be in a Pepsi-sponsored car at his new team of Hendrick Motorsports. This is no small change for NASCAR and the legion of Jr fans in the stands and at home. Approximately 80% of NASCAR fans are clad in Dale Jr.'s bright red. When he storms to the lead, especially at places like Talladega and Richmond, a thunderous red tidal wave careens through the grandstands. Well, starting at Daytona in February, 2008, those red clad fans are going to have to deck themselves in some new color or risk being "behind the times". As if the typical NASCAR fan wasn't already a little behind the times in terms of fashion, but that's a post for another day.

Today is also a new day for me and my own loyalties in NASCAR. You see, I'm a big Dale Jr. fan. I too erupt in a cacophony of hoots-n-hollers that has to be translated for anyone not born in North Carolina when that beautiful red car surges to the lead. As such, I've always borne, shall we say, a bit of distaste for Jeff Gordon and his buddies at Hendrick Motorsports. In 2004, when NASCAR in effect gave Jeff the win over Junior at 'Dega, my hatred reached it's zenith. Since then, I've ranted about Jeff's shoving Matt Kenseth out of the way at Chicagoland, Jeff's whining about Jimmie racing him at Martinsville, and countless other "incidents". But last night I had a catharsis. Realizing Jeff would become Junior's teammate next year regardless of my personal feelings and maybe a little bit because I was nearing the end of my 3 mile run, I decided it was time to shelve my dislike of the driver of the 24 car. I mean, he does have a few things I can respect, right? He's won 5 championships. He's won almost 80 races. He's even won more races than Dale Earnhardt whom Jeff respected almost like a father-figure. It was NASCAR's Eagles vs. Giants for the '90's.

So, let this be an official announcement. I no longer hate Jeff Gordon. I ain't a fan, and I don't know that I can ever root for the 24, but I won't hate him. I'll have a competitor's respect for him, and hope he can bring the Hendrick Motorsports team success . . . but not till 2008.

And that's about all I got to say about that!

-posted by Rusty

The Espies are quite a bunch. Truth be told, we are big fans of HR and were devastated when he was let go.

When we think of the on-air talent up in CT, one incident replays in our minds.

Back in 1994 in the hellhole that was Three Rivers Stadium (and the Vet always got a bad rap), for some God-forsaken reason MLB decided to spotlight the on-field talents of Ricky Bones, Mick "The Quick" Tettleton and John Hudek in Sienna Miller's favorite Western PA town. The game itself was exciting (as exciting as an exhibition game in Pitt can be) and operating a car wash and offering financial advice was merely a glint in the Dude's eye. (This, you may recall was before the game "meant something.")

The real excitement, however, happened at a post-game press reception, when a young 15-year-old high school ball player was lucky enough to have the opportunity to drink ginger ales in a room full of ex-pros, pencil pushing reporters and D-List ham and eggers.

My eyes lit up when I saw Leather himself sitting with two lovely blonds, HoFer Tony Perez and all-around great guy, baseball genius and super-duper insider Pete Gammons. Holding a commemorative collectors' ball in my hand that was already signed by Jose Rijo, giddily I approached them and asked that they also put their Herbie Hancocks on the fine piece of memorabilia. No sooner did I get the words out of my mouth did the G-Man suck his teeth, roll his eyes and disgustedly leave the table.

To his credit, Boomer, sensing my disappointment, and perhaps his cocktail, patted me on the shoulder and said, "You're with me, kid whose hat and ears are too big for your head," (paraphrased) and invited me to sip my Schweppes with them.

Fast-forward to just a weeks prior to 12-years to the day, and terrible news came out of Bristol that Mr. Baseball had a brain aneurysm rupture. We were not happy to hear this happen to him, or anyone else. But maybe, just maybe, it reminded people that they are human, and should treat grubby teenagers as humans as well.

So, when the outpouring of support came for the Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater, my heart dropped, much as it did when he got all huffy more than a decade earlier. Only a handful of pals have heard this story - because tales of disappointment are difficult to tell, and frankly, can be embarrassing for a hormonal teen. I tucked it away deep in the recesses of my memory. UNTIL ESPN set up a site at which fans would send PPPE their well wishes and relive fond memories of Mr. Baseball.

My select support group encouraged me to tell my tale. But unlike school in summertime, I had a bit of class. But now, I feel, I hope, events and maturity change people. So I can tell my story of heartbreak, finally enjoy the man's body of work, and stick that Rijo/Berman/Perez ball on a mantle and finally appreciate it without resentment.

-posted by Ren McCormack